


a glass of ocean

by doodlerooniee



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Family Bonding, Flashbacks, M/M, OK but this is SO CORNY AND BAD like shit im sorry yall, father & daughter bonding, fathers more like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 15:18:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5971680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doodlerooniee/pseuds/doodlerooniee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey finds home through a series of flashbacks- remembering her past family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a glass of ocean

**Author's Note:**

> ok look. this is really shitty, has a lot of plotholes, may or may not be OOC, is really corny and doesn't make a lot of sense. 
> 
> this is my first star wars fanfic so be gentle!! im trying here, lmao. this was written for the bestie so... its a cheesy fluffy fan-service. (ps skysolo isnt that major a thing cos this is mainly rey-centered BUT its definitely in there)

Rey sits in silence on the ship, the only sounds the clinking and occasional moaning of the Falcon, and the soft talking of Poe and Finn.

Rey looks over to where Kylo Ren- Ben Solo, her mind supplies- is lying unconcious, handcuffed hardily to a steel beam in the structure. 

After the close encounter on the bridge, Han was able to bring Ben across the way over to the rest of the group. Nobody was hurt, thank god. Ben had gone unconcious for unknown reasons, but he should be fine.

Rey can hear Han and Chewie talking loudly from the cockpit, and her thoughts cease as a headache begins thudding inbetween her eyebrows. She eventually zones out, eyes trained on Bens closed eyelids.

\--

"C'mon, Rey! Daddy'll be upset if we're not there on time." Ben hollars, jumping gracefully across rocks. For a nine year old, he certainly had a lot of agility. But that is the result of your Dad being the greatest Jedi in the entire galaxy.

Rey doesn't respond, she just lifts her already soiled blue dress and picks up her pace, little legs carrying her faster. Before the pair knows it, they've arrived at the open aired temple that their father is standing at the front of, talking to his sister.

"Auntie Leia!" both children yell as they dash up the steps. Both adults turn towards them, smiling. Leia picks Rey up in her arms, while their father picks Ben up.

"You're so big, Rey!" Her aunt begins, smile reaching her eyes. Her aunt is a very beatiful woman, and Rey looks up to her immensly. "Look how beautiful you are!"

Rey giggles as her aunt kisses her cheeks. Leia sets her down gently, Reys bare feet touching the ground. Her Daddy smiles at her, still holding Ben as he talks avidly to their father about one thing or the other- he'd never been good at staying on one single topic.

"Hey, . I wanted to talk to you about something..." her aunt starts, but the rest of the sentence blurs, as does her fathers name. Why didn't she hear it? Auntie said it... 

\--

Rey gasps sharply and loudly, eyes flying open and face covered in sweat. Her head is pounding and her hands are clenched in tight fists on her lap - but the ship is quiet.

How long had she been in thought? What was that? Rey didn't have a brother, or a dad, or an aunt. She had herself. 

Her friends look over at her, pausing their conversation. They look concerned, and she feels a twist in her stomach at it.

Rey doesn't say anything to them. Instead, she looks down at the ground, bringing her legs up to her chest and lying sideways on the seat she occupied. Maybe if she got some rest this damn headache would go away.

Her last thought when she was drifting off were a pair of happy blue eyes, staring directly at her.

\--

It was sunny today. It wasn't that it was never sunny, but the weather hadn't been amazing lately, and the sight of the sun had both Rey and Ben itching to get outside. Even their Papa seemed to be in an extra good mood.

Daddy smiled at them, and helped Rey get her boots on. Not that it was hard, of course, but she needed some... extra help. They were a bit complicated in the straps. 

At six years old, Rey was already a powerful Jedi. Thats what her Daddy says. She wants to be like him and Ben one day. They're both really powerful, and can move stuff without even getting up! It really was something.

But just because her Papa wasn't particularly one with the force didn't mean he wasn't powerful either! When her and Ben went out with their Papa, he would give them rides on his shoulders and piggyback rides. Even though Ben was eleven, Papa treated it like it was nothing.

"C'mon, dear. Ben is already climbing trees." her dad stood up, having had accomplished strapping in her little feet. He smiled and took her hand as they walked out the door together.

The sight she was greeted with was Ben indeed climbing the trunk of a near branchless tree. Her dad chuckled, shaking his head and giving Ben encouragments. Papa was at the bottom of the tree, yelling up at Ben that he could do it, and to "bring back a souvenier for his old man".

Rey sat down on a rock, watching happily as her dads and brother were happily yelling. She twirled a finger around the stem of a flower, and followed a trail of flowers that went along a stream that trickled nearby. An idea popped into her head and she set about picking all the flowers she could, until deemed she had enough of them.

By the time she got back from her little adventure, Ben had gotten out of the tree and was sitting next to their Papa, who was holding a small pinecone in his large hand. Daddy sat across from Ben, dabbing at some scrapes as Ben smirked proudly.

"Papa!" she called, breaking into a sprint at the sight of her family. Her Papa looked up at her and smiled. His eyes trailed down to the large bouqet she grasped in her little hands. She hopped into his lap, causing him to grunt as she giggled.

"Now whats this you've got?" He asked, nodding at the flowers in her hand. She beamed up at him and shoved them into his chest.

"For you!" she said. He took them gingerly in the hand that wasn't holding the pinecone Ben gave him and smiled down at Rey.

"Thank you, little miss." he ruffled her messy hair and kissed her forehead, making Rey giggle. 

The last thing she remembered was her Daddy looking at them both smiling softly as Ben asked where the pretty flowers had come from.

\--

'What the hell?' Rey thought. She woke up some time later to a dark room. A blanket covered her. The lack of Finn and Poe suggested they had most likely retired to their shared quarters. Looking over, Ben was still unconcious and cuffed to the pole, but now he too had a large blanket draped over his body. 

Picking up the blanket, Rey shifts out from under it and puts her legs on the ground. Her back creaks as she stands, hand on her lower back.

She starts walking, looking around the ship. It's pretty big, seeing it. There's a lot of junk on the shelves and things on the floor. There seems to be a layer of dust on just about everything, collecting from disuse.

Her still bare feet pad around, idly looking while lost in thought over the dreams she had previously had. What was that? It seemed so vivid, but not like she was living it. More like something was coming back to her?

She stops when she finds herself suddenly in front of the cockpit door, reaching to open it. She stops, retracting her hand, but the door opens regardless.

"Oh," she murmurs, looking up at Han. "I didn't know you were in here."

Han shrugs and smirks. "Don't sweat it." He reaches his hand out to her head, but then quickly stuffs his hand back at his side.

She steps to the side to let him through, following him. They walk in comfortable silence back to the main hold where Rey had previously been resting.

"Get some sleep. We're supposed to be there by tomorrow sometime." Han says. Nodding, Rey sits back down, pulling her legs up on to the sofa. She drags the blanket back on her and turns so her back is to room. 

Footsteps walk across the way, near to where Ben is still cuffed to the beam, unconcious or asleep- she doesnt know. Han must've sat in one of the seats nearby, because she doesn't hear anymore steps.

The last thing she hears is a "'Night," from Han, and she dropped into sleep.

\--

Ben had been acting weird lately.

At age ten, she had heard the murmurs from adults to her parents. The "it's nothing, he's just being a teenager"'s and "it's just a phase"'s, and more amongst that. But Rey heard Dad talking to Papa one time, while they thought she was asleep on the chair across the room.

"I'm afraid," Dad had said. She cracked her eye open, and saw her dad shift, and Papa hug him tighter.

"Why's that?" Papa had asked, concern lining his face.

Dad sighed and hid his face in her Papas chest. "Ben's been different lately. He acts like... talks, like... he hates me."

Papa doesnt say a word, just rubs Dads back. Dad looks up at him and then down at the floor.

"He's been asking about my father. That's the only thing he talks to me about anymore. I don't think this is just Ben being a teenager. I don't..."

He would've gone on, she knows. Papa shushes him and kisses him on the top of the head. 

"We'll figure it out- i promise. Ben's fine. He's gonna be fine." He sounds so sincere. Papa's always been so good at reassuring them... Like when Ben would get frustrated because he couldn't get something dad was teaching him, or when Rey got a really bad cut, or when Dad got sad.

Rey hadn't seen her Dad get sad that much. She knew it happened- but she never understood why. He hid it well, he never let her see. But she knew. She would burst into a room, and he would have his head in his hands. That rarely ever happened though - Dad always knew when she or Ben were about to crash into a room.

But still. It happened.

"C'mon. Let's go to bed. I'll grab little miss Rey." Papa rubbed Dad's shoulder and kissed his cheek before getting up. Rey shut her eye and pretended to be asleep as Papa picked her up and carried her off to her bed.

She fell asleep on the way.

\--

She woke up again. It was still dark throughout, her teeth on edge. It was dead quiet, with the exception of the breathing of herself, Ben and Han.

Sitting up, her eyes adjusted to the dark of the room. Ben breathed steadily- sleeping, she decided. Han too was asleep, neck at an awkward angle that would certainly have him griping and groaning in the morning.

She got lost in the thoughts of her dreams.

Ben? Why was she dreaming of Han Solo's son? She didn't like him, or know him outside of the awful encounters the two had shared beforehand. Han was a good man though.

Was that Han? The tall brunette in her dream? It seemed like him, but she couldn't be sure. The dream, reflecting on it, she could remember most things but as is with any dream it was a bit blurry. 

And who was the blonde man? He seemed kind. She had no idea who he could've been, of who he could be now, or if he even existed. It would be nice if he did though. She would like to meet him.

The thoughts of this dream-family lulled her to sleep once again. That seemed to be a pattern- being awake for a short amount of time, thoughts of her dreams lingering. Then falling back asleep.

\--

Rey jogs up the hill, lime grass tickling her bare ankles. The tan blousy pants leaving half her legs exposed to the summery breeze. 

She comes up on the top of the hill, where she knows her dad and brother are. Ben hasn't shown much interest in their fathers teachings lately- opting for dissapearing from their home for extended periods of time, coming home to worried dads and a concerned little sister.

He would roll his eyes and leave the room without saying a word- slamming his door shut.

She heard loud grunting, and the clashing of 'sabers. But that was to be expected. Ben was in training at this time.

Rey came up the hill and into the open field, finally spotting her dad and brother. But something was... off. 

It wasnt like normal. They usually just jabbed at one another, never striking the body. One time they leapt around in trees and Ben had accidentally burnt dad, but he hadnt meant to. 

This was different, though. Ben had dad pinned to the grass, legs pinned to the ground via Ben's knees. Ben was trying to drive the lightsaber into their fathers chest. 

The 'saber came down on him, even though an invisible force was attempting to hold it back. Dad's own lightsaber was a just out of reach, and his hands were pinned under his back.

She would never forget the sound of her dad yelling in pain as Ben's saber burnt on dads chest, burning straight through his clothes and burning her father.

Rey yelped in suprise, launching into action. Ben snapped his head up and looked her dead in the eyes.

She didn't even recognize him.

He looked... dead. He didn't look like himself. She didn't recognize him. She faltered in her act to seize her 'saber, attempting to save her dad.

"Rey," Ben said. The sound of searing cloth and the loud sound of the lighstaber and the yelling of their dad made is hard to hear him, but she did. "Leave."

"But-" she began.

"Leave, now." His voice seemed to boom to her, and tears welled up in her eyes.

The distraction she caused was enough for her father to get his son off him and get the boys lightsaber. He took it and backed away from Ben, standing in front of Rey protectively.

"Ben," Dad warned. Rey held on to his hand, and his hand clamoed down on hers.

"My name," he grated out, "Is not Ben. That name has no meaning to me. My name is Kylo Ren."

Dad inhaled sharply.

"Ben, I don't know what's going on with you... but, this needs to stop. When you're ready to come inside, we will be there." Dad exhaled softly. "Come along, sweetie."

Dad picked her up and they made the quickest trip home that Rey has ever made with her father.

They burst through the door, and Rey was shaking and scared at seeing her brother that way, and the way her father was acting. He had never been upset in front of them. He was always happy and excited and loving.

She had never seen her dad cry out of fear or sadness before.

" !" dad yelled as soon as he got into their home. "Take Rey. She's not safe here."

"What? , what's going on here?" Papa questioned, plucking Rey from her dads grasp. She's not big for a ten year old.

"Ben," Dad said breathlessly. He had his hand over the hole in his clothes and the burnt skin. He takes his hand off and winces.

"Jesus, kid. He did this?" He asks, putting a hand over the hurt skin. Dad nods, and gives Papa a look. Rey doesn't like the look in her Papa's eyes. It's one shes never seen before- and it scares her.

Her lip quivers and she gets out a shakey "Papa?" before she bursts into tears. Her Papa makes a noise and hugs her, running fingers through her long ponytail.

"I'm so sorry." dad keeps muttering. She doesn't know who it's directed to.

Papa keeps walking around the house, following dad, and they're yelling, and she keeps crying. 

Suddenly it gets quiet, and her Papa's crying too. She takes her head out from where is was tucked into his shoulder.

Her Dad is standing right in front of her, tears running down his face. He wipes the tear tracks from Reys face and kisses her cheeks. He smiles.

"I love you, sweetie. So much. Please forgive me. Be safe." He says. He stands up straight, looking up at Papa.

"Don't cry," he whispers. He puts his hands on either side of his face, wiping the tears away with his thumbs.

He stands on his tiptoes and kisses him, then settles back down.

"Let us come with." Papa says, voice cracking. It makes Rey wanna cry harder. Dad looks down at his shoes. When did he put his cloak on?

"I'm sorry... You know we can't." Dad says. He kisses Papa again, then presses something into his palm. "Tell her I love her. Please. Find her again one day."

Papa nods after a minute, clutching the thing in his hand. Dad sighs. 

"He's already gone." Dad says. He looks so hurt. So, so hurt. Rey wants to do something- anything- the get it off. Make him smile by making him a crown made of flowers, or make him smile proudly because she did something right- or- or-

"He has killed already. I can feel it." 

"We have to-"

"I can't. I just-" Dad sighs again. "I just cant."

Papa sighs and they all hug. Dad sniffs, and Papa starts crying again silently. He pulls away and kisses Papa, and kisses Rey one last time on the forehead.

"I love you so much, ." Dad says. He turns and throws up the hood of his cloak and doesnt turn around until he's reached the door, looking back.

The watery blue eyes- the sadness, the loneliness and the regret- will haunt her forever.

\---

Rey wakes up crying, and feeling like shit.

Han is looking at her curiously. She looks at him and just cries harder. His brow furrows in concern, and he walks over and sits down next to her. The lights are on, so it must be morning.

They sit in semi-silence, save for the sniffing and the whimpering noises Rey makes. Eventually her tears die down and she wipes her face. 

"I'm so sorry," she whispers roughly to Han. He whips his head to look at her.

"Why're you sorry?" He asks.

"I- I," she goes to explain, but finds no explanation for it. "I don't know."

He sighs and stays where he is until she stops sniffling. She still feels like shit. 

"You should go back to sleep. You look like you need it." He says, standing.

Rey chuckles and wipes her red eyes again. She feels like she needs it. She drops her hands to her lap and watched Han nod and walk off in the direction of the cockpit. A moment later she feels the Millenium Falcon lurch into movement, and is lulled back to sleep with the knowledge she will at least get to begin a new journey soon enough.

\---

"Papa, where're we going?" Rey asks, bouncing up and down in his lap. He's uncharacteristically silent. She tilts her head at him.

She of course hadn't forgotten what happened the prior week. Of course she hadn't. Her Dad and brother have been gone, and her Papa not himself. He was more silent and closed off. But he still hugged her and called her his princess and little miss. He tried.

Today, though, Papa had given her a big backpack full of food and clothes and a few of her favorite stuffed animals and things her dad had given her.

"You'll see, princess." he said solemnly, regardless of the nickname he still sounded detatched and silent.

Rey ignored this. "Are we going on an adventure? Will dad and Ben be there?" 

She bounced up and down at the idea, smiling giddily. She missed her dad and brother. It's been lonely without them at the home.

Papa didnt answer her.

Suddenly, an orange planet came into view. Rey smiled excitedly, daydreaming of the possibilites of what they'd find there. Dad and Ben... maybe Auntie Leia would be there too!

The landing was a bit rough, but that was OK by Rey. She was so excited she didn't mind.

"We're here," Papa mutters. He puts on his cloak and hands Rey hers. She puts it on quickly. "C'mere. I'm gonna pick you up, ok?"

Rey nods. She's never minded her parents picking her up, even though she was ten now. 

Now hidden in her Papa's cloak, he walks out of the ship and into the hot climate. It's never been this hot at home. Sand gets in her eyelashes and she blinks rapidly, burrowing her face into his cloak.

She hears alien language, and her dad talking. Suddenly shes set on the ground and sees her dads face in front of her.

"Be good. I love you so much, Rey. So does your Dad, and Ben. Don't ever leave this planet. I'll be back one day."

"Wha-" Rey begins, but her father is already walking away briskly. She stands clueless as a hand she doesn't recognize claps down on her small shoulder.

The stranger speaks in a language her father had never taught them. She looks back confusedly towards her Papa's retreating back as the alien scurrys her away. 

A few minutes of walking later, she hears the loud noise of a ship starting, and looks up to see a small ship leaving and she just knows.

"Papa!" she screams, trying to run towards the ship she knows is being piloted by her father. "Papa!"

The alien clutches her arms, successfully preventing her from running for her Papa. It's yelling, but its white noise.

Eventually the alien hauls her away and back to some form of a hut. She has seen little in the way of other humans, and the ones she has seen are very old and tired looking.

Two talk back and forth, until the one who her Papa had given her to took out the small metal piece her Dad had pressed into her Papa's hand the night he left.

The alien crouched down in front of her. It reeked.

It pressed the metal object against Rey's forehead, no matter how hard she scratched at its arm.

The last thing she remembered was her fathers voices saying "I love you.", and then she blacked out.

When she awoke, she remembered nothing. All she knew was her name was Rey, she was ten years old, someone had left her behind on this planet (but who?), and the words "Don't ever leave this planet. I'll be back one day."

\---

Rey wakes up with the words "Papa," on her mouth and moisture, once again, in her eyes.

Finn and Poe look over to her. "Rey?" Finn asks, getting up and walking over to her. "Hey, Rey, what's up? Are you okay?"

Rey nods, eyes distant.

"Are you sure? You don't look fine." Finn says, concerned. He's such a good person, such a good friend. Her dad would love him.

Rey turns and hugs him tightly. He falters for a second but hugs her tightly, saying "hey, hey, it's alright, Rey."

"Thanks," she mutters. Opening her eyes, she looks over his shoulder and locks eyes with Ben. 

She releases her hold on her best friend, and he smiles at her kindly. She returns the sentiment, and stands up and walks over to her brother.

She sits down on the floor in front of him. Her older brothers bangs shadow his eyes and he looks like hes glaring, but she feels like he isn't.

"Brother," she regards softly. After a beat of silence she moves forward and hugs him. Her big brother... she never would have thought...

"Sister..." he regards quietly. He cant really hug her back, due to his situation, but she knows hes trying.

"R-Rey!" Poe calls out shakily. "What're you doing!"

"Its okay." she says. "He won't hurt me."

"How can you be so sure?" Finn asks, standing next to Poe. Rey squeezes her brother before standing and regarding her two friends with a smile.

"He's my big brother." 

The looks on their faces range from shock to suprise back to shock. Neither say anything about it, but then Poe speaks up.

"How did you not know before?" Poe asks.

Rey shrugs. "I... I really don't know. I've been having weird memory type dreams and I think... its about my family."

"Your-?" Finn begins, but in that moment Han walks in and stand in the doorway, and Rey locks eyes with him. Her eyes water all over again and she launches herself at him.

"Papa," she whispers into his shirt. She's shaking, she's a mess, but dammit she doesn't care. 

"Oh, Rey..." He doesn't say anything, just hugs her and strokes her hair like he did when she was little.

"I told you I'd come back."

\---

The landing on the ocean planet brought excitement and nervousness to both her and her father. They hadn't seen him in, jesus, had it been 12 years?

"Should we bring him, Papa?" Rey murmered, looking over to Ben, who, still cuffed to the beam, had rotated his body to be able to look out the window.

After a moment, Han nodded. "We'll keep him cuffed, though. Just in case."

Rey nods, and stares at the back of her brothers head. He seems so calm, something she hasn't seen that in him since he was... thirteen? Fourteen? God, so long ago...

Chewie hollars loudly at them, declaring their arrival. Rey's palms sweat as she stands, going over to uncuff her brother. With the help of The Force, the clasps come free on their own and Ben moves to rub his wrists while he can.

"Sorry, Ben," she mutters, taking the cuffs and putting them back on him. He could probably get them off, it wouldnt be hard for someone so connected with the force, but he doesn't.

"Its okay," he replies. 

She grabs his elbow gently and helps him stand, their father walking to his other side.

"We'll be back," Han calls over his shoulder to the rest of the crew. They nod and wish them good luck, then they're off to climbing.

Its a steep and grueling climb, especially for poor Ben who doesnt have the use of his hands to steady himself. He trips on rough stones that lead up the path and grown in grass.

When they finally reach the top, Ben groans in relief. Rey chuckles.

But, when she looks over to look out on the ocean from the cliff, all breath leaves her at the figure standing at the edge.

"Dad?" she questions breathlessly. He turns, a smile on his face. He looks so tired... so much different than he did when he had left.

"Luke," her father breathes, then rushes over and gathers his husband into a crushing hug. Luke laughs, wrapping his arms around Han. Rey's eyes catch on the naked mechanic hand that glints in the shine of the sun. She certainly didn't remember that from when she was young.

She hears them kiss, and then pull back. "Love the beard," Han snarks. Her dad laughs, and kisses him again.

"I missed you." 

"Me too."

Han steps back and looks at Rey and Ben. Rey looks over to Ben, and sees hes not looking at anyone. He stares at the ground, guilt cutting edges in his body.

"Rey, Ben," Dad says, and Rey grabs her brothers arm and rushes over to hug her father. Shit, it had been such a long time... she missed him so much. 

"Oh Rey..." Luke sighs. He rubs Rey's arm in a comforting fashion, one he would do when she was young and tired or upset. "How I've missed you."

He releases his daughter and looks at his son and then his husband, and back to his daughter. "Missed all of you."

"Ben," he begins. Rey moves away from her father in order to stand next to Han. Ben stays in the same spot, but lifts his head slightly in regard to his Dad.

"Ben, my son. Please know..." Luke starts. He moves closer and puts a gentle hand on his sons shoulder. "I love you. I don't blame you for what you've done."

Bens head snaps up to meet his Dad's forgiving face. "Really? You do? Love me. Still."

"Of course." Their dad says, smiling. After a moment he hugs Ben gently. "Of course i do."

After they talked and shared a couple more hugs, Rey bolts down the path, stumbling only a few times. She crashes into the ship, smiling and panting.

"C'mon guys!" Rey is smiling dazzingly and immediately runs out. Finn is dashing right out behind her, excited and gripping Poe's hand.

Once up the climb of the steep path, the three saw Luke talking to Ben, and Han had apparently gone off to look around.

Luke greeted them all with open arms, greeting both Finn and Poe with a smile and happiness that his youngest has friends. The Wookie, on the other hand, rushed over to hug the Jedi, lifting him into it. Luke laughed, and hugged back.

Han eventually came back and smiled at seeing the others joined back up, and they all sat outside on that cliff hours after the sun had gone down and the stars had come out. They talked mainly about what Luke had done in the 12 years of his absence, but Luke averted the topic on to what the others had been doing- what had happened to Rey while he was gone, to Han and to Chewie, and learned more of Poe and Finn.

Rey was happy. Happy that she's not alone. Happy that not only one person cares for her, but an entire group of people. Happy that finally, she has a home.

*END*

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked that!! just some notes:
> 
> 1) their names are blanked out in dialogue because rey doesnt remember their names (but i guess remembers bens??? i dont know man)  
> 2) finn & poe are there because i said so  
> 3) i guess kylo ren is back to the light side..... welcome to the winning team bud
> 
> leave a review PLEASE! im a very insecure author so anything (comments, kudos, bookmarks) counts! thank u so much for reading, it means a lot to me'


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